I have been suffering from spiritual heartburn. Self-diagnosed, but spiritual heartburn nonetheless. I have been up almost every night recently with spiritual indigestion. Tossing and turning. Waking up randomly for short periods. My soul was upset and rightfully so.
I had noticed over the last few days and weeks that I would open my mouth and find myself shocked at what came out. (no - for those who are wondering I wasn't using any foul language) But what was coming out of me I am sure was displeasing to God. Little responses or quick answers that could have been perceived as harmless, but I knew God was not happy. I felt immediate conviction and a sense of "what were you thinkin'!" A "what were you thinkin'" that was different from this post. It was like God was holding up a mirror and wanted to know whose reflection I saw. I think it was kind of a wake-up call to me. I need to be more serious about some of the things that God has laid on my heart. More disciplined. More focused on the things above. Matthew 15:18 says"But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean'." For me personally, I need the Word to sanctify me and cleanse me daily. I will fail miserably if left on my own.
The spiritual heartburn also came from eating the lesser things. For whatever reason, I have been around a lot more people lately (perhaps it has something to do with the holiday season) and have found myself not being fed on the Bread of Life, but rather on some cheap drive-thru food at these various gatherings. It isn't even that I chose to eat what they were offering by way of conversation. It was more like a food fight and my soul managed to digest it. I do not mean this as some 'holier-than-though' comment. It too was a wake-up call. God tells us to be in the world and not of the world. He also tells us very clearly in Ephesians 4:29 "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen". Others are listening to what comes out of our mouths. We hear what comes out of others mouths and both can cause spiritual heartburn if we are not careful. I seriously felt like all night long I was burping up someone else's words that had penetrated my soul. It was not leaving a good taste in my mouth.
I want to be the people-pleaser and apologize up front for this blog. But not really, that would be like offering you some spoiled food instead of the real thing in hopes that I would make you happy.