Thursday, November 12, 2009

Dangerous Woman

A few years ago, I had the wonderful privilege of being a part of a women's ministry event called "Dangerous Women". The general idea of the conference was about being dangerous women for Christ. Godly women. Women who feared the Lord and followed Him with passion. It was while I was reading Angel's blog tonight that I was reminded of the conference. Angel was a part of it. We had a blast and God blessed us in it.

I confess that I wasn't really looking to read blogs tonight, it just kind of happened after I climbed up out of my self-induced "you can be an idiot" pit. If you have no idea what I am talking about when I say that - stop here - the rest of the blog will mean absolutely nothing to you. If you have ever jumped into the "you can be an idiot" pit all of your own free will - then please keep reading.

The drop into the pit started when I called a friend with a genuine concern about something that was going on in her life. I wanted her to know I care and that I was thinking about her and praying for her and that I love her. Instead, out of my mouth came words that I meant for good, but wound up hurting. Something careless that I said without really thinking about what I was saying or how it might be taken. One giant step toward the 'idiot pit'.

I should have stopped right there and put duct-tape on my mouth. But no, instead I go see what my husband is doing. The first night we have had at home alone in a week. Been looking forward to it for days. Nothing I love more than being alone with my man. Yep - you guessed it. Open mouth - say something stupid and thoughtless. Free fall straight into the 'idiot pit'.

Final kick of dirt down on me in the 'idiot pit' - I was supposed to be studying tonight about being a godly wife and godly woman and self-discipline and what that means and how to live it out. Instead first hand lesson in the exact opposite direction. And on top of that not studying a bit.

So what does any of that have to do with dangerous women - everything. There is more than one kind of dangerous woman. There is the woman who radically, boldly, humbly and obediently follows after Christ. She is a godly woman. She doesn't just talk the talk - she walks the walk. She brings honor to her husband and her family. The Proverbs 31 woman for starters.

Then there is the dangerous woman who is worse than a dripping faucet. (Proverbs 19:13 and Proverbs 21:9) The woman who doesn't guard her tongue and doesn't think before she speaks. The woman who can tear down in 3 seconds flat with one sentence what took a year to build up with words of affirmation and encouragement and love. She is equally dangerous.

I just kept thinking of Paul's words over and over in my head - I don't do the things I ought to do and instead keep doing the things I don't want to do. (my paraphrase) I didn't want to hurt my friend and I didn't want to hurt my husband. I wanted to encourage my friend and have a wonderful evening alone with my husband. I wanted to spend some time studying God's word and listening for his promptings within me. Instead, my ears and heart were plugged with mud and dirt from the pit.

Lord have mercy on me and I thank you that your mercies are new each morning. I'm gonna need 'em. And now I need to go be with my husband.


Ethan said...

Wow. I think I'm very familiar with the "idiot pit". I'm thinking about building a summer home there, I visit it so much. I know what you mean, like on Tuesday, Kenny was telling me about your guy's life and how you guys got started, and out slipped, "Wow, it sounds like a bad country song."

bleh. What a jerk thing to say. I'll just apologize for that now. And then today everything's going great at work, and I just suddenly snap at mom... for NO REASON. What the heck?

Its just a good thing that God is ALL-loving, because if I was Him I would have given up on me a long time ago.

Angel said...

Love ya girl. Get that. Know it...daily working to be a woman who grasps the wisdom of God and keeps my hand in His clasped hand!

Love ya! It was so incredibly wonderful to see you this past weekend.