Friday, September 4, 2009

My Hospital Stay

I know this will sound weird, but the last few days as I walk out of the office to my car, I feel like I am walking across a rehab or hospital parking lot. Seriously. You know on Patch Adams how they have this hospital that doesn't really look like a hospital - yeah it feels like that.

From what I know, there are times when someone is in need of rehab for addictions or illness and they are either in denial or just have no idea how sick or addicted they really are. Or perhaps, it is like the elderly who are taken to a nursing home for some healing and they don't understand why are they are being taken out of their home. Or possibly, it is similar to someone who looks a little sick and when they open them up they find they are full of cancer and need extensive treatment. I think I was all of those. And so God picked me up and placed me at the seminary. I didn't understand, but I think I am starting to get it. It was to be my place of healing in so many, many ways.

Just like drugs you can be addicted to church or ministry. It gives you a spiritual high. You want and need more. But you suddenly find the church or ministry controlling you and you have lost sight of your first love relationship with God.

Then there is that cancer inside of us. Those things that have been growing for years. In the last two years, God has gotten out his scalpel of humility and carved away at my heart. It was apparently in need of a good circumcision. More importantly, it was in need of some serious chemotherapy treatment. It needed some radiation to heal some dark, ugly spots that had been there for years.

You need some physical therapy to heal and mend and strengthen the broken places in you. Parts that were broken, but never healed properly. Parts that were just misshapen by time and circumstances and using the wrong procedures to correct them. Sometimes they need to be re-broken and re-set so that you can walk and run and move the way you were created to. I was in need of some that.

So God took me to the Seminary. There he would place people in my life who would help remove the scales from my eyes and gently work on a heart transplant. He placed people in front of me who knew how to heal the places in my heart through prayer and some wise counsel. So with a daily dose of medicine, some heart therapy, a large array of people from all over the world - God would remold, remake and heal this wounded soul. I didn't even know I was in need of such major work.

I don't know first hand what it is like when your family or friends come to you and take you away for intervention or rehab or psychotherapy. But I do know was it is like when God does.

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