His Will - Whose Way?

The lyrics rolled off my tongue in worship this morning.  "It will be my joy to say Your will Your way.  It will be my joy to say Your will Your way always."

As everyone else continued standing and singing, I sat down to write those words in my journal so that I would not forget.   Your will Your way.   Really?   Is that what I meant?   Did I mean that I wanted God's will in my life and that I wanted His will to be played out HIS way.   Or do I only say "Your will God" and secretly hope that He does it MY way?   If I'm honest, that is probably true.

And then what about it being my joy to say Your will Your way?   And always?  Isn't there something within each of us that finds it joyful for God's will to be done when we don't suffer or sacrifice or have to wait.

If there is suffering, sacrifice or putting the interests of others before our own and these things are happening because it is God's will in our life for it to happen that way, where's the joy then?

If the prayers earnestly prayed at the midnight hour aren't answered in the way we would like, do our hearts fill with joy and praise that God's will is being done?    Or does a cloud of doubt and despair overshadow all the goodness of God in our hearts and minds?

For seven years, I have prayed some very specific prayers to God that He handled His way.  His will was was being done His way and not mine. And I can honestly say I am thankful.   I wasn't always thankful though.  My trust and faith didn't always run deep enough, but God was faithful and has been with me through it all.  That was His will and His way of doing things.

If everything had been done my way, there would have been utter failure in the end.  My faith would have been wilting and my pride would have been growing.    The end results would have the residue of a human and finite finish and ultimately would crumble.  Instead, the end results are proving to be absolutely divine and in-explainable by any human standard.

The process of change continues and it doesn't mean that it is always easy.  But I am learning to trust and believe that God's will done God's way is always best.  

Be Real

A few days ago, I was randomly browsing through various links on some Christian blogs and websites.   More than one caught my attention as they indicated that they had overcome some sort of adversity.   Stopping the mouse for my little arrow to hover over their "About Me" tag,  I clicked.  

In each case, they truly had overcome some sin or some stronghold in their life.  I am not diminishing God's work in their life at all.

But for each of these people I read about, it seemed like they had sinned once, felt great remorse, turned their lives around and it has been great ever since.  Or at least that was how I saw it portrayed.    I truly don't believe that was the way it was intended, but that is what I saw.  Or is that really how it happened?

Did their marriage, their kids, their finances, and all their decisions just fall into place and they lived happily ever after?   I don't think so.   Satan doesn't quit that easily.  

So what about the woman or girl reading their posts who has failed over and over and over again?  The one who thinks she isn't good enough or that perhaps God's grace really isn't enough to cover all of her sins.   What about the lady who still doesn't think that God could possibly love someone like her because He really does know every single thing she has ever done?

I am not suggesting that we should write about all the negative in life, nor that we should give Satan one ounce of glory.  But being real is what helps pull others out of pits and places of darkness and hopelessness.  

When we share what Jesus has done for us, it encourages others that they too can make it.    When the reality is spoken that marriage is tough, children from age 0 through adulthood push us to our knees, that fear grips us in the middle of the night for no apparent reason and that Jesus Christ is faithful through it all, lives can be changed.

The women who have had the greatest spiritual impact in my life are those who shared their lives with me and didn't pretend that everything is or always has been easy and perfect.   These were godly women who love Jesus with all of their heart and serve Him with reckless abandon. These are women who still face trials and heartache and disappointment and health issues.   But they continue to persevere and push through to the feet of Jesus day in and day out.  

Keep pushing.

James & Beth -what a team!

Every once in awhile you do a Bible study that just kicks your tail!  Beth Moore's study on James is like having a personal spiritual trainer who won't let up until you get yourself into shape spiritually.    Seriously, I have never heard a sermon or done a study that had this much impact on my life.

No doubt, memorizing the book of James while I am studying it helps me to retain it and apply it. The Word of God is living and active and you can't help but change inside and out if you spend enough time in it.   

I could go on and on about each section I have studied or each verse I have memorized thus far.   Every single word has impacted me in some way.   Really it has.   

But last week when I was studying James 4:11-12, it was like someone punched me in the stomach.   I don't know about you, but it is easy for me to find myself on that slippery slope of judgment and justify it.   After all, I was just sharing something that I felt.  No I wasn't, I was judging plain and simple! 

So God and I spent some time together on this.  Him shining His light in the dark places of my soul where the pieces of judgment like to hang out.  Me opening my heart to Him asking him to show me and convict me when my thoughts starting heading the wrong way. 

Some amazing things began to happen immediately.  First, I suddenly felt a freedom that I can't quite put into words.   When we live according to the Word of God, we are truly free.  He tells us so.  But to feel the freedom is so, well, freeing.  

Secondly, all those people and instances that I found to be so irritating, suddenly weren't.   God softened my heart and opened my eyes to see differently.  Perhaps the only irritating common denominator was me.   You get the point.   

I am so extremely grateful that we can rely on the Word of God to be and do all that it claims it is and will do.    There is so much more to learn and to apply and yet God takes the little bit we read or study and uses it right then and there when we submit ourselves to Him.    

May He open your eyes to see His word in a fresh and freeing way today. 

  

James and Something New

For several years, I have done Beth Moore Bible studies with a group of wonderful women.   When Beth's new study James, Mercy Triumphs was due to come out, I kept debating over doing it on my own or inviting other women to a group study.   Still undecided, I finally just asked for the workbook for Christmas and I would download the videos on my own.

After starting the study, I realized that this time around I needed to have this be just between me and the Lord.     And I'm okay with that.

One of the challenges in the book is to memorize the entire book of James in 5 months.  I have wanted to memorize large chunks of scripture, but somehow never pushed myself to follow through.  Now I had the motivation.  

Doing the study and memorizing the scriptures at the same time has made it so much easier.  I have something to draw from and relate to as I go. Not to mention, that God clearly had a lot of work to do on me in just the first seven verses.    Have mercy!

About the same time that I was getting ready to tackle James, I came across this link  about memorizing Colossians on MoneySavingMom.com.   Suddenly I didn't feel so 'alone' in my efforts and desire to memorize whole books of the Bible.    Even if I was doing a different book over a different time frame, I could still apply many of these ideas to my own memory work.

If you think memorizing scripture is too daunting or that you just aren't good at memorizing things, I still encourage you to give it a try.   I am always amazed at how quickly God starts working in my life and on my soul when I commit to memorizing His word.  It truly is alive and active and will purify us and transform our thinking when we meditate on it throughout the day and night.

God will never allow us to put that much effort into His word only to leave us the same as when we started. What have you got to lose?   Try it - you just might like it!

New Year - New Goals

I am not one for New Year's Resolutions.  But I do appreciate and need goals in my life.  Last January when I made out a list of goals for for 2011, I honestly thought they would stretch me and push me, but that they were still very doable.  

I had great intentions, after all I believe the buzz word on many blogs was "Be Intentional".  I thought I had that.  They were good goals.  I had some specific goals concerning my marriage and children.  I wanted to spend more time in the Word, memorize more scripture, read more, exercise more - and so on.  

Each of my goals were clearly defined.  For example, I wanted to memorize one scripture per week.    Because it would be of my own choosing, I didn't see any reason why that could not be done.  Well, that and several others fell far short of what I saw as the victory finish line.

I did read more books, so that was a plus.  Although many of the specific goals were unmet, there were other areas that didn't make the list, but were greatly improved.   And I learned something about setting goals in my life and what being intentional means for me. 

If I don't have a specific reason attached to my goal, I will fail.  I want to be in better shape, but doesn't everyone this time of year?   However, the reason I want to be in better shape is to be healthy for my family and so that I have all the energy and strength I need to play with my grandchildren.   

When I set the goal and have a very specific reason with it and then break it down into doable chunks, I have a much better chance of achieving it. 

Some things also need to go.   Just adding a long list of "want to-dos" in my life, without removing some other "don't-need-to-dos", I will probably fail again.    For example, I do not need to stand in front of the TV mindlessly watching the Today Show before work.    Instead, I could be going over my memory verses. 

While that might be a small something, I realize there are bigger areas or more undisciplined areas in my life that need some sifting and sorting. 

I'm still praying about my goals for 2012 and wanting to make sure that God is very much in the midst of them.   And I'm very excited to see where He leads me. 

Reading Goals from 2011

Last January, I made a long list of goals for myself for 2011.     One of those goals was to read and finish a variety of books.  I have a terrible habit of starting a book or reading several at the same time and never finishing any of them.

So part of my goal was to actually finish a handful of books that I started years ago!  I can honestly say I did that.  

I also wanted to read some books that have been on our shelves for awhile that I just never could commit to reading.   One of them, I started and decided that it was a waste of time in this season of my life.  Maybe next year.    

Another book, Cost of Discipleship,  - well I'm still on Chapter 2.   I have owned it for so long and I am determined to make it a priority to complete it before the end of January 2012.

Some of these books were on the list I wanted to read, some were given as gifts and some were just for the pure joy of reading.  I also have a handful that are only half-way done.   Here's what made the finish line:

You Were Made for More, Jim Cymbala

A Message from God, Retha McPherson

Total Money Makeover, Dave Ramsey

Just Give Me Jesus, Anne Graham Lotz

Intercessory Prayer, Dutch Sheets

Return of the Prodigal Son, Henri Nouwen

Organized Simplicity, Tsh Oxenrider

The Help, Kathryn Stockett

Battlefield of the Mind, Joyce Meyer

Discipline of Intercession, Ed Corley

Jimmy, Robert Whitlow

Whatever Happened to Worship, A.W. Tozer

24-7 Red Moon Rising, Pete Greig

Sacred Marriage, Gary Thomas

A Gift from The Sea, Anne Lindbergh

Eat that Frog, Brian Tracy 

Quitter, Jon Acuff

Jesus Calling, Sarah Young

Her Mother's Hope, Francine Rivers (I still have 3 days to finish it) 

I do not necessarily endorse all of these books, nor their authors.      But I read them and therefore, they are on here.   My goal for next year is 24 books.    What did you read last year?   

Operation Christmas Child -Looking Back and Looking Ahead

For several years, I have wanted to participate in Operation Christmas Child and prepare shoe boxes of gifts for children.  Lack of planning on my part resulted in zero boxes completed until this year.    There are three different age groups for boys and for girls and so I thought it would be fun to do six boxes total.  One for each category.

I had been gathering items since August when quality school supplies are dirt cheap.   Along the way, I also picked up full-size toothpastes, toothbrushes and soap for free.    After speaking with a friend who is heavily involved in Operation Christmas Child and learning that some children never have a toothbrush and others may share one toothbrush between fifteen or more children, I knew I would be putting extras in each box.

Then a few weeks before Thanksgiving, I headed out on a Saturday evening to finish grabbing the other items that would go in the boxes.  I had some thoughts of what I wanted to get, but I also prayed that God would lead me to specific items for each box.    I wanted the boxes to be special and personal for the child receiving it.

That night, I finished packing the shoe boxes (well, actually they were plastic storage boxes I purchased for.74 each at Krogers).   Printed off the mailing labels, signed up to receive a notification of what country our box was sent to and sealed them up to take to the drop-off center.

So far we have received a notice of at least one box going to Zimbabwe and one box going to Mali.   Only God could have made that possible.  I have always had a special place in my heart for Zimbabwe and hope to visit there someday.    My husband has regular interaction with a church that sends hospital supplies to Mali.

I mention this ministry now because it is a great time of year to get toys on sale or other items marked down for clearance.   Their website has a very easy to follow list of instructions and ideas for what can and cannot go in each shoe box.

Personally, I am going to make a list of the items that I plan on putting in next year's boxes so that I can have it with me when I am out shopping.   Some items I may not get until after I have prayed specifically for each child, but other items will be pretty standard for our boxes and I can grab those throughout the year.

Shoe boxes can be filled fairly inexpensively and will bring immeasurable joy to the child who receives it.

The Sound of Christmas Dinner

A little over 24 hours ago, I had the distinct privilege of sitting down for Christmas dinner with the people I love most.   My mother continued the decades long tradition of making the Christmas ham, which my brother declared that everyone must eat or they don't get to open presents.    There were bowls full of stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberry salad and so much more.   An endless feast if you will, where the bowls seem to fill as fast as a spoonful is removed.  

Among the food, there is another delight.   I stumbled upon it this past Easter.   With great anticipation, it is something I came expecting to indulge in during the Christmas dinner.   I was not disappointed. 

After the food is initially passed around the table, the conversations continue while everyone partakes of the provisions offered them.  And then it appears, if you silence your thoughts and your words, you will hear it.   

So that is what I did.  I didn't concentrate on the words of conversations or even what was on my plate.  Instead, I allowed the cadence of sentences, the soft crumple of napkins, the rhythm of breathing, the subtle thud of bowls being placed back on the table, the clanking of silverware upon a plate to form one of the most beautiful serenades you can imagine.    With the familiar smells of home-cooked foods from my childhood as the backdrop, there before me was a melody as sweet as one performed by any orchestra.   

You know how your heart swells up with joy when you hear beautiful music.  That is what happens in that moment for me.  The sounds of the voices of my parents, my spouse, my children and other extended family all coming together in that one brief moment before children become restless and the dessert is passed.   It is there that the sound of Christmas dinner is at its finest.      It is there that blessings from God come to life in a new and personal way and I am forever grateful for that holiday music. 

What's the Price?

For the last few years, I have been diligently working on saving money and buying ahead with the use of coupons and sales.  It has been a blessing and a discipline in my life.   Not only have we saved a great deal of money, but we have been able to bless others.    

In the last year, as I have read comments posted on some of the websites/blogs I regularly visit to find good deals, I have seen an increase in people complaining that they aren't getting just about everything for free.   As a result of people abusing the system, the stores have also started tightening the restrictions and regulations associated with coupons and other sales.     Ultimately, someone has to pay.  Either the consumer pays or the company pays.  When both sides play fair and act respectfully, both sides can come out with a pretty good win-win situation.    When one side (the consumer in this case) starts demanding all of their 'rights' and taking on an attitude of entitlement, both sides quickly lose.  Additionally, those with the attitude of entitlement cause harm to everyone else in the long run.

There are many arguments to be made about companies, greed, abuse of systems, etc.   This is not the forum for such discussions, but rather a place to stop and reflect on our own attitudes.  I confess that there have been times in my life when I had the entitlement attitude and I am embarrassed to think of how I acted.   Truth is - I'm not entitled to anything, but I am called to be thankful for everything.

In every area of our lives, there is a price to pay when we start believing that we are to get everything for nothing.    Such an attitude is like gangrene in any community, church, relationship or business.   It spreads and it is ugly and eventually it kills what once was healthy and growing.    

Perhaps we would be wise to consider the words of Paul in the New Testament:  1 Timothy 6:6-8  "But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world and we can take nothing out of it.  But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that."   


May we keep our priorities in order and our eyes on Jesus.  May our hearts and attitudes be a reflection of who Jesus called us to be in all situations.   He paid the price for our sins and we certainly weren't entitled to that!




"Be joyful always; pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

My Weekend Getaway

Ahhh, the sound of waves gently crashing against the shore.  The birds singing in the distance.  The cool breeze gently blowing in the windows.  Life is good.   But wait . . . I'm in Ohio and it is three a.m. and there isn't a beach with gently crashing waves anywhere near here.    So what could that sound be?

It is the sound of the alarm clock on the nature setting going off two hours before I have to get up.   It is the same sound I hear soon after there are little feet running down the hallway to Nana and Papa's bedroom.   A little Simon spent some time with us this weekend and as I was cleaning yesterday I apparently bumped the alarm to the "on" position and it came on playing Simon's favorite tune on the alarm clock. At least it was the gentler of the two he usually picks.   When he pushes the other button the cd player will crank out some worship music and he and I will dance to "I'm Trading My Sorrows" or "Yes Lord,  Yes Lord, yes, yes, Lord - Amen".  

We never seem to get past the first two songs, because by then his attentions have turned to something else in the house and off we go.   Or maybe it's because at 19 months he really doesn't have a lot of sorrows to trade and so he can quickly move right along. 

I've been working on rearranging my time lately so that it better reflects my priorities. 

After all, it will be all too soon until shoes like this fit his feet.  

And who knows what paths he will take in life. 

                                                                                       

I just want to make sure I don't miss a moment of it.  Thank you Jesus for the gift of this little boy - yes, yes Lord- Amen.

Overcoming Disappointment & Other Life Stuff

Ever felt disappointed?   If you said 'no', then perhaps you might want to check your pulse.   I think it is human to be disappointed sometimes.  Discouragement just might be Disappointment's cousin and Frustration would be their best friend.   Some of these ugly relatives have tried to move into my house lately.  They aren't welcome, no matter how many times they let themselves in the front door or park their bags at the back door.

Maybe you can relate to one of these statements: 

"Honey, the washer sounds a little funny."

"Come here and take a look at this, the computer screen says 'critical error'."

"I'm sorry, your washer isn't repairable"

"Hey - why won't the air conditioning turn on?  The furnace isn't coming on either". 

"Looks like something ate through the wires in your truck  (cha-ching)"

"While we were fixing the wires, did you know you needed to have __________ fixed also?" 

"What's that noise every time you shift when you're driving the car?"

"You know that noise that it made while it was shifting, it's not doing that anymore. The gearshift broke in two." 

"Bubba (yes that's his name) wants to know how much we want for the car" 

"M'am - it looks like mice ate through the wires in your air conditioning unit." 

"You need to come back next week for more tests" 

"We can't tell for sure from the tests. We will have to do surgery in 4 days." 

"Honey take a look at these spots on my back." 

"You have shingles." (which makes you contagious to your grandson, which means you can't see him for awhile) 

We have heard every single one of these and quite a few more in the last several months.  While none of them were life threatening and God provided the means to overcome all of them, frustration and disappointment have been nipping at my heels for awhile now. 

It would be so easy to sit here and think about the negative.  Because let's face it, the negative seems to come up in one way or another on a regular basis at certain seasons/times of life.   Sometimes it is like a slow drip, other times like a tsunami. 

These are just reminders of why it is so important to stay in the Word and to keep our eyes on Jesus.  If we don't, we are likely to find ourselves swimming in a cesspool of defeat and discouragement.  Sadly, discouragement is more contagious than the shingles and can be deadly to our faith if we aren't careful.  

In each one of those statements above, there was a blessing.  Albeit, I'm still trying to figure out the blessing of the shingles, but I'm sure it's there.*   If, however, we had taken a 'woe is me' attitude, we would have missed the blessings. 

In addition to the blessings directly related to each of those statements, we have seen God's hand at work in ways that make us speechless.   He is so faithful.   

I pray that you will keep your nose in the Word and your eyes fixed on the One who came to give us life and to give us life to the full. (John 10:10)   Don't miss the blessing in the midst of the mess.  

 ( *After I posted this and sat down, God reminded me they could have been much worse.  So there is the blessing.)

These Little Feet

Oh the sweetness!  These little feet belong to my grandson, Simon.   We have a little ritual when he comes to visit Nana.    I get out the ice cream and scoop some in a small bowl for the two of us.  It's vanilla, because his Mommy says he can't have chocolate yet.

We start out with me sitting on the kitchen floor and Simon standing up facing me.  I put the first spoonful in his little mouth.   He likes it.

By the 2nd or 3rd bite, Simon has turned himself around and wiggles himself backwards up into my lap.   If my legs aren't situated just right, he pushes them over so he can snuggle up real close.

We finish the bowl of ice cream in this position.  It is all I can do not to feed him more than he should have.   I don't want this to end.

Every time we sit like this and I look down at his little feet, I thank God for him.  I pray that he will want Nana to tell him about Jesus - sitting just like this.  

Changes

Life is full of changes.  Sometimes a change seems good, then it seems bad and then you look back and realize it was God and it really was good.   Make sense?

This picture was taken almost 3 years ago from the back stoop at my grandma's house.That is grandma's clothesline against the backdrop of the sunrise over the field. Grandma never did own a dryer and maybe this view is why.   

We were living there in transition between houses when I took this picture.  We lived there for a year.  I think I spent most of my time wondering why God wasn't moving us sooner.  Sadly I spent way too much time complaining about it too.  As I look back, I truly wish I had enjoyed the view and the blessings more.   I was only seeing what I wanted to see and not what God wanted to show me. 

How often do we get caught up in the act of the change or the inconvenience of the moment and miss the blessing?    

A lot of things have changed in the last few months. Little did I know that God would show up so spectacularly and so miraculously in this time of personal transition in our lives.  Just like living at Grandma's house, it hasn't all been easy.  But I can say - it has all been good. 

Blessed be His name.

Kim 

For the Love of the Journal

I have this love-hate relationship with my journal.  I love to look back and see where God has taken me on this journey.  I hate that I don't journal with regularity.   I used to wonder what the 'right' way was to journal.  After all, how could you or should you track prayer requests and answers?  And what about the details that should be included?   Should I just put in the big stuff or should I include things that really didn't seem so significant, but might be significant later.   So my life with the journal has been a bit of hit and miss.  

Journaling was probably never meant to be this difficult.   For goodness sake, it is a spiral bound notebook with lined paper.  It is mine to do with it as I please.  I'm not doing it for a grade or for a project for school.  No one sees it but me and God forbid anyone should see them after I die.    They probably wouldn't make any sense to anyone but me anyway.

Monday night after our prayer meeting at church, I wanted to come home and look for something in one of my old journals.   As I dug through them and found the one I wanted, I started reading bits and pieces of it.  At first I was truly on a search for what I was looking for.  But then it became more like a meandering journey of the mind through the past several years.    

As I kept reading and perusing the pages that constituted a good portion of my life with Christ, I found something very disturbing.   Don't get me wrong, there was lots of good stuff and things I am totally clueless as to why I would have written down at all.  But what disturbed me the most was my waning faith.

There I said it.  My faith was shrinking right there on the pages of my journal.   I kept reading it and wondered what happened to the woman that started the journaling to begin with.    If trials make you stronger and draw you closer to Jesus, then I should have been having large leaps of faith growth.  But that wasn't what was there.  

On the pages of the first journal I saw a "childlike, endless, God can do ANYTHING He wants" faith.  I saw a faith that believed in and expected miracles.  I trusted that if God said jump, well then, just jump and He will catch you.     But then this "oh I am more mature in my faith, don't want people to think I'm strange" woman showed up.     We share the same name, but I'm not nearly as fond of her.    This person I had become was too logical, played it too safe.

Only one or two journals before that I was asking God to interrupt my life.  To draw me so close to Him that I wouldn't question what He asked of me.  I prayed for a dangerous, give it all to Jesus kind of faith.  

Sometimes it is painful to look back, but sometimes it's absolutely necessary if we ever want to move forward as God intended.    I am so incredibly thankful for my journal and for God allowing me to see the truth in it.   If people think I'm strange then that is fine with me, because I would rather be strange and full of faith than 'normal' and faithless.  

It's the Small Things

Sometimes it is easy in our world of abundance to forget just how blessed we are.  I fall trap to that way of  thinking more often than I like to admit.    

Sponsoring a child from Compassion this year makes me stop and look at life differently.   When I take the time to prepare a small package of very simple items for him, it fills my heart with overflowing joy.  Praying over the items brings me back to reality.  It really is more of a blessing to give than to receive.    

Christ calls us to care for the poor and to preach the good news to the nations.  That doesn't mean that we have to go to another country to fulfill His calling for us.    We can share the good news of Jesus Christ and help to care for the poor right from our own home.   A little time and a little sacrifice is all it takes.   

The Secret of Making Your Marriage Work

"Always give more than you get" was what my mother told me over 25 years ago at my bridal shower.    My mother had been married a long time and that advice has served me well.     Sadly, I can't say that I always followed it.  But by the grace of God and an amazing husband, our marriage has survived all these years.

My thoughts lately have been a lot about marriage and what really does make it work.   We have seen way too many marriages end in divorce in the last year or so, while others are barely hanging on by a thread even as I write this.

Then I got an email this week from a friend who wanted me to call another woman about the difficulties that woman was experiencing in her marriage. I knew a bit about the situation they were going through and wasn't sure what advice I could give her that would truly help if she wasn't willing to do some hard work and see it through.

Here is the one thing I have learned over the last 25+ years, you really do have to be willing to give more than you get - or at least more than you think you are getting.    If there was such a thing as 'elbow-grease' in marriage, you need that!   Hard work and sacrifice and patience and prayer and love that goes beyond words.

Over the last several years, my husband and I have met with and talked to numerous people who are going through difficult times in their marriage.   Sadly, the one thing we saw repeatedly was people who wanted their marriage to work, no matter how bad it had gotten, but they weren't willing to do the hard work to see it through.   If just wanting your marriage to work was all it took, there wouldn't be a need for divorce attorneys.

There hasn't been a fix-all answer that I could ever give to anyone whose marriage was struggling.  But this much I know, you have to be willing to sacrifice and put your spouse first, and in even greater amounts during difficult seasons.

Our marriage has seen a wide-range of trials, testings and blessings.  We have survived difficult times when we weren't followers of Jesus Christ.  We have survived difficult times when we were following Jesus with all of our hearts. We have seen lean seasons and seasons of plenty.  We have walked through busy years of children and adjusted to the empty nest years.    We have had difficult times that we share publicly and we have private trials that aren't always meant to be shared.

I say these things, because I want you to understand that it wasn't just because of one particular thing or lack of something that made it work.   My husband and I have learned to press on and hold on and to give and bend and fight fair.   We pray for each.  We try to put each other first and yet I fail too often at this.   We have learned to close our mouths and keep our negative words to ourselves when our flesh wanted to just say what it was thinking. We have forgiven 7 x 7 and then a thousand more on top of that.  

Although God graciously sustained our marriage even when we weren't living for Him, I can't help but direct troubled marriages back to the Bible to be your guide.  Are you personally living as the husband or wife that God called you to be?    When you look in the mirror do you see the husband/wife that God intended you to be or something that looks more like a version that has been modified by the world's standards?

Sadly there are times when you can do all the right things and the hard work and pray and sacrifice and a spouse will still choose to leave or will continue an abusive or addictive lifestyle that is unhealthy for you to remain in.   The fallen world in which we live is still a reality today as much as it was in biblical times.

But there is hope if you are still married, even if the problems seem too much.   As my mother said "always give more than you get".  You might just be surprised at what you get in return.

Unlimited Potential

Turning points in our lives can cause us to revert and focus on weaknesses or they can catapult us into new possibilities.  There are many places we can land in between those points, but I am praying that the turning points in my life will catapult me straight into the middle of God's plan and purposes for my life.  

Several events lately have caused me to pause and to begin reevaluating my own relationship with the Lord and how to use my gifts.  For that matter, I am even having more discussions with God about what gifts and talents He gave me versus the ones I want or the ones I think I have and don't.   That will be another post perhaps.

Anyway, if I look at things through my own limited understanding, I will find myself . . . limited.    If, however, I sit up and take note of how I see God working in miraculous ways, I find that the limits are the fences and walls I have built in my own thinking.

A couple months ago, I wrote about sponsoring a child through Compassion.  Within just a few short days after that, God saw fit for me to meet a man from Rwanda personally.   The man walked straight into my office at work.  I love the way God does things.

Here's the beautiful part of what I learned about this man.   I don't know exactly how he became a believer in Jesus Christ, but he did.   He read his bible.   And he took God's instructions personally.    The bible told him he was to go and reach and teach the world for Jesus Christ.  He thought to himself that he would be unable to teach the world about Jesus because he did not know English and so many others did.  So he taught himself English.  

He also went from teaching a handful of people in an untraditional style of church to leading a church of over a thousand.  I forget the exact figure but it was as a lot!   No marketing.  No advertising.   No formal education in the Word.  Just preaching and teaching.     Right there in the middle of Rwanda.

He is here because his country now has certain requirements that he must meet.   I have no doubt that he will do that in record time so that he can get back to preaching the Word and leading people to Jesus.

What would happen in our lives if we began to take God's words of promise and instruction a little more literally?   God said it and so I must do it.  God promised it and so I must expect it.   God forbade it and so I can't do it.

Our potential and power is unlimited when we remember where both come from.  May the turning points in my life cause me to tear down the walls of limitation with the truth of God's word and to wait with expectation for the unleashing of his power and provision in my life to do what he called me and created me to do.

I pray there is also a part 2 to this story.   I couldn't help but wonder about the timing of meeting this man.  So I very boldly printed off what little information I had about the child we were sponsoring and asked the man how close he lived to the boy's village.  Turns out he lives only a couple hours away from there.  Perhaps someday God will use this man to show my husband and I to the village where Mucyo lives.  You just never know.

Your Spouse First

Two very different conversations that took place in the last 24 hours really have me thinking about marriage and how we treat our spouse.   In the one conversation, a person basically stated they were nice to people who weren't family.  The indication was clear that you can treat family like dirt, as long as you are nice to strangers.   This was in the presence of their spouse.    The second conversation was one relayed to me that concerned a couple where at least one of the spouses vacations without the other.  

Here's the deal.   The person you are married to - where exactly do they rate on your list of priorities and time?   Do you put them before yourself and others?

I remember several years ago, probably 9 or so by now, when my husband and I were having a very rare night of dinner alone at home without the kids.   It always seemed like we rarely had time to talk when the kids weren't there or something wasn't going on.   However, on this particular night, it seemed like within 5 minutes we had covered what we needed to talk about.  And in my own mind, at least, there was this very eerie feeling that I didn't really know my spouse.  And what would happen to us when the kids moved out?

We had just finished moving into the home we had built. We had full-time jobs.  We didn't have financial problems.  We had been married a long time.  We had two teenagers.   But our marriage seemed to be held together by stuff as opposed to substance.

That night was my wake-up call.  Although things are very different now, I still remember it as though it was yesterday because I never want to feel that way again.

I often hear people say that you and your spouse should go out on a date regularly.  I believe this is especially true when you have little people at home.   But when it is just the two of you there, I suggest you take time to talk.    You can catch up on what is going on in your lives and other things.   But then, take time to talk without the TV, the movies, the dinner guests, or other distractions.    

Without a doubt, I believe that your spouse is to be your first ministry.   Before the church, before the children, before anyone else.  Do you minister to your spouse?      I'm not talking about doing ministry together, which is a great thing.  I'm talking about ministering to them in ways that show you love them and that they matter to you.

At the end of my days, can I say that I loved my husband well?  Will he say that I loved him well?

Have You Prayed for Your Husband Today?

Okay, if you are a man reading this - Have you prayed for your wife today?

Seriously, have you prayed for your husband or wife today?   Years ago when our marriage was still far from God and my husband was not yet a believer, the one thing that God taught me was to pray for my husband.  Trust me - it was all God.  I just prayed.

I firmly believe in the power of prayer, but I had no idea even where to begin or what to pray.  I had no real understanding of the Word and the power of praying scripture.  I just prayed from my heart and usually it was at least three times a day.

I got up early in the morning, set my timer for 30 minutes, and just poured my heart out to the Lord.   Then again on my lunch break I would read the Word, pull out a book I purchased that gave me some direction and pray through the written prayers in it.  

On my way home from work, I prayed.  I prayed for time.  I prayed that God would do a miracle.   I prayed for help in how to answer my husband and how to treat him.  I prayed God would help me with the housework so that our home would be inviting.  I just prayed.   No magic sentences or right order of words, just a pure heart that wanted God to work in my marriage.

Truthfully, I wanted God to fix my husband so that our marriage could be fixed.   But what happened was that while God did do a mighty work in my husband's life, he worked on me first.     If God had actually answered my prayers in the order I wanted, I would never have been the wife my husband needed.  I was too spiritually immature.

Sometimes I thought God wasn't moving fast enough.   As I look back, God moved really fast.    

One of the most encouraging things my husband said to me during those early months was when he told me that he could tell I was praying for him.  I didn't have a clue and I asked him how he knew.   His reply wasn't so much that he could tell when I was, but rather he could tell when I wasn't!!

Marriages can be extremely messy and I don't know any that don't have problems from time to time.  So whether your marriage is at the top of its game or on the last rung of the ladder of hope - pray.

God designed marriage.  He hears you when you cry out to him with a sincere heart.   If things are going well, pray for your spouse.   If things stink, pray for your spouse.   There isn't a thing that you can't take before the Lord.  He already sees and knows exactly what is going on.

One of the greatest answers, aside from salvation for my husband, was when God answered my prayer that my husband would have godly friends in his life.  I wanted my husband to have godly men who would speak into his life and that he could hang out with.  God answered.  

Do you pray for his friendships, for his job, for his health, for strength to resist whatever temptations he may face?  Do you ask God to bless your husband in specific ways?     I can't encourage you enough to pray for your spouse.    Don't wait until tomorrow - start now.

Another Child!

I have been waiting three months to be able to write those words.    For some time now, I have had a deep desire to sponsor a child through Compassion International.    Kenny and I had talked about it and agreed over two months ago that we believed God was leading us to this commitment.   Then somehow life got in the way and we never sat down together to choose the child God would lay on our hearts.

Well today was the day. His name is Mucyo Done and he lives in Rwanda.   He is 5 years old and although we have never met him, he won our hearts over with nothing more than a picture.    Reading his story only confirmed what we felt in our hearts.   My feet may never hit the ground in Rwanda, but my prayers and support can impact someone who walks on it every day.  

As if God laying it strongly on my heart wasn't enough, this video just made the commitment and desire stronger.



Thank you Lord for opportunities that are beyond our understanding.