Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Afraid of What?

What am I afraid of? Why do I find myself sitting on the sidelines of my life with Christ instead of jumping in? Fear. Just like the lion in the Wizard of Oz – I lack courage. There I said it. I am a wimp. I want to be bold for Christ. I want to be in the thick of a life sold out to him – holding nothing back. But truth is I think I take leaps of faith where I know that I won’t get hurt or embarrassed or can recover quickly if I made a mistake. That's not faith, because the only person I am trusting in is myself.

Lately I find myself more afraid of “what am I missing”? I want the fullness of a life radically sold out to following Christ. In the very depths of my soul – I just want to follow close behind him. I want to be consumed by my Savior and living out a life for Him. There is a longing deep within me for a Christ-filled life that will never be met by playing it safe.

I have missed out on a lot of things in life because of fear. Fear of heights kept me from enjoying family vacations. My husband and kids ventured out on the swinging bridge over Grandfather Mountain - I watched from where it was safe and missed out on the thrill of it. Fear of getting hurt emotionally. People bite. I don’t want people to say mean things or think bad thoughts about me. Oh my . . . what if they don’t like me?

Please – I sound pathetic. Give me a break. I am tired of living life on the sidelines. So what if I take a few risks for Christ and fall on my face. I will be fine. If a little of my pride gets chipped away – all the better. What if someone doesn’t like me because I followed hard after Jesus? Who cares! So, what am I afraid of? As I write this out, it sounds like I am afraid of my own shadow – just like the lion was afraid of his tail.

The lion in the Wizard of Oz was always my least favorite character. Maybe because he was the one most like me. Time to get some courage. Time to move forward with boldness for Christ. Scripture says it repeatedly – Be courageous. If God says it so often, it is time I do it. After all, what is there to be afraid of?


Jeanette said...

Your 3rd paragraph reflects me pretty well. I know in my head that I don't need to be afraid, but it's so hard to put it into action!

Thy Word Is A Lamp Unto My Feet said...

Hello Kim-

I can certainly relate. I do pray for the courage to be bold for our Saviour. And as you said, so what if we are rejected? I am still praying... I am more on the quiet side while I will not take a bold stand to speak loudly about my belief but I will choose not to engage in things that dishonor my God.

God bless.


Tanya said...

This sure hits home. I strugggle most with fear! Like Jeanette I know in my head that fear does not come from God and I need to be bold and have courage. But putting it into action is a big struggle. I regret all the years and adventures lost because I let fear get in the way. I regret the opputunities I missed to witness my faith to someone because I was afraid to speak.Heavenly Father please forgive me for my fear! Heavenly Father please help me to the have courage to speak when you tell me, stand strong in my faith and obedience to you so it is a witness to others and not miss out on all the good stuff you have for me because of fear!