Will I Ever Learn?!

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:9 NIV

This is the verse I am currently memorizing. In fact I just wrote it from memory. It's in my head, but clearly hasn't soaked all the way through.

Does God ever lay something on your heart that you don't quite understand and then you go seeking confirmation and direction and input from man? I tend to suffer from the "need-to-know-all-the-details-now" disease on a regular basis. But guess what - if God laid the word or thought in my heart then He is the only one with all the details. Not man.

I wholeheartedly believe that God can and does give others words of affirmation and confirmation to something He has stirred within us. It has happened for me personally and can be of great benefit when kept in proper perspective.

But sometimes God lays something on our hearts or in our thoughts that is from Him and will be fully revealed by Him alone. If I don't understand it, well maybe it is because "His thoughts are higher than my thoughts".

This happened to me in the last 24 hours. God laid something so heavily on my heart that I knew it was from Him. But it didn't make a bit of sense. As I searched the scriptures, I still wasn't finding clarity. Read the commentary - no flashing lights there either. No billboards with explanations on the way home. No angels appearing before me. Nothing.

So I started looking for answers from people I know. Got nothing there either. Do you think that maybe God was not just speaking to me, but teaching me a lesson as well about the verse I am memorizing?

God doesn't always make sense this side of heaven. That's why they call it faith! It didn't make sense that Jesus would raise Lazarus from the dead when Lazarus had been dead for several days. It doesn't make sense that Gideon would go into battle with only 300 men. The list could go on and on. God's ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts.

Sometimes He gives us a word or places something in our heart that makes absolutely no sense and then we are just to wait and seek Him for answers, clarity and direction.

So I find myself asking for forgiveness for not trusting him. My lack of faith, my reliance upon self and my lack of patience all played a part in my not trusting God to lead me in this.

I am praying that God will still speak to me in this and allow me to learn from my lesson. The scriptures tell us that if we ask for wisdom, we will receive it. But we must have faith.

Perhaps God is reminding me to "Be still and know that I am God", Psalm 46:10a. I need to trust Him more. Talk less, listen more. I am thankful that His thoughts and ways are higher than mine or any mans. I want and need to know that my God is so much more than I could ever imagine. He is more powerful than I understand and more gracious than I could ever fathom.

So I wait - after all He is worth waiting for.