When I Grow Up I Want to Be A . . . ?

Remember as a little kid how everyone would ask you what you wanted to be when you grew up? I wanted to be a teacher. In second grade our teacher made us draw pictures of what we wanted to do when we grew up and I drew a math teacher. As a child, I would head to the basement of our house and pretend I had a classroom full of students as I taught them math and worked out the problems on the chalkboard. Once I tried to impress a group of adults in high school by telling them I wanted to get my Ph.D. in computer science. I had no idea what that would involve, but it sounded good. Being a professional figure skater crossed my mind, but I don't ice skate. In sixth grade I thought I wanted to be a back-up singer for someone famous - like K.C. and the Sunshine Band. But I can't sing. Oh and I'm not a teacher either.

A few weeks ago, I turned 45 and I am still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. My math is still pretty good and so I would say I am at mid-life. My grandmothers lived to either be 90 or close to it, so I am at the half-way mark. Plenty of time to decide if God blesses me with many more years.

Except here is the problem, if I want to follow God and his leading and be obedient there is a good chance my ideas for my life probably aren't going to line up the way I think. Goodness knows they haven't in the last 7 years. I think one thing and God points me a different way.

But there are a few things that keep coming to mind. I want to be intentional. I want to be intentional in the time I spend with my husband and my children and grandson. I want to be intentional in my relationship with Jesus Christ. I don't want a mediocre life.

I want to simplify and take time to rest. I want to pursue Jesus passionately, but not burn out. I want to live with a bold faith, but remain humble. I want to be the church and not just go to church. I want to encourage other women in their walk with the Lord and in life - marriage, kids, money, and all the other stuff. I want to be frugal and give generously. I want to pray more and trust God more. I want to have a grateful heart, not a greedy heart. I want to memorize the scriptures and live life like I have.

Occupation? Well that's just a title. What I do for a living when I grow up and who I am when I grow up aren't the same. Jesus was a carpenter - that's what He did. Who Jesus was - well that's different. I want to be like Jesus.